Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
