none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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