I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
