This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think people are normalizing furries
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
