so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
