in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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