so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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