i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
