apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize