remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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