my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
