All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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