you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
