I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
