Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
