dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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