OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
