I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
