I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
