we have pet lesbian snakes
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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