he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize