pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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