Screwed.edu
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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