Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
