I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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