Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
