i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
