good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize