If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
