Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize