last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
