May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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