come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
smell my finger.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
