my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
