Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I bet he comes in French.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
