And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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