And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
