what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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