I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize