Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
