The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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