His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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