Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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