I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
