dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize