took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
