What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
