We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
