it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
