New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
