real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
