How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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