You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
