Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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