I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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