i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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