I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
