It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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