At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
