The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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