ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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